How come some people are made self-sufficient, utterly resilient, while others have to struggle, are weak? So that we can learn to rely on Him? Such that a greater work might be done? I'm full of qustions but I don't forsee getting all these answers in the very near future. Maybe it will come bit by little bit; like a jigsaw puzzle waiting to be pieced together.
I feel like giving up sometimes, and just adopt a totally blase attitude- more than a mere facade, like some can. But deep down, who am I kidding? Not caring is not my forte; I can never pull it off without sleepless nights, worrying. The anxiety in the forefront, for the lack of discipline, the lack of sheer willpower and determination. Knowing I will regret if I throw in the towel, just doesn't seem enough, sometimes.
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