I still feel hurt and so betrayed :( I'm sorry, I can't help myself. Its not easy living this way. I want to leave it all behind.. Somethings just remind me of this. And I don't really know how to deal with this, effectively. I don't like this nagging feeling that I'm maybe I'm just not your first choice. You couldve had it all, just not with me. And maybe I'm being hypocritical but I don't wanna be treated the same way as her. I hope I am special to you.