Why do I cry?
Disappointment, maybe initially. In you. (I'm sorry, I had to say it) Hand-in-hand was Anger. Then after that, perhaps indignance. I'm unjustly implicated. And after that I don't remember- fear, sadness, everything?
It was a stupid mistake; one moment's folly. Isn't the punishment way too severe!? It goes beyond just the surface- so what, screw ns, its just two years. Its not like that. Every man has his ego, his pride, I'm sure it will be tough, embarrassing, even humiliating when you hafta actually talk about it. When people ask. And then they judge you, even when they don't seem to be consciously doing it. A black mark, forever against your favour.
And I sure hope that you/I dont have to relay this to my parents. It might (actually I'm quite certain of it) spark the he's not good enough for you etc etc yadda yadda blah blah blah. You get my point- its not the conequence, but the cause. I'm sorry, my family is elitist. And unjustly so, too. They don't like the fact that I Have A Boyfriend. At least, she doesn't. Even if they(she) don't say it aloud, but they think it. Whats the difference. -cue eyeroll-
And if I can't see you this weekend. Sigh It Will Suck Real Bad. ):
Why did I think it(you,me,ns) would be Easy? Or Simple, even. I laugh a lot more, cry a lot more, hurt a lot more, get frustrated a lot more.
Stay Strong. What does it mean? To go through the week without dissolving into a puddle of tears? To have to put up a brave front? To "make the most out of it" ? Or by just surviving it cuz time will pass? I don't know, seriously. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel now. Just hope that tmrw will be a better day.
Happy Sixth Month/ Half Year Anniversary Sweetheart.
p.s. I have awesome hair now. At least Something has gone right today.
:/
2 comments:
haha, you self clain your hair's awesome?
i should see it then!
and "always look on the bright side of life, du du,du du,du du du du....."haha
everyone has challenges, and no relationship is perfect (oh who am I to talk, just look at how screwed up my love life (or lack thereof) is). it was a mistake, and he didn't commit it out of hateful intentions. i hope you'll be able to see each other on the weekends.
even if you can't stand it, let love bear it. :] jiayou! and i'm here if you need someone to scream to!
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