why is it that i can conjure up so many happy memories of us but they seem so distant, so hazy, so "from the past", and yet it feels so empty now. i wish i'd cherished what we had. i wish i'd saved every 3-4hr conversation we had, lock it all up. i wish i'd not taken the freedom of speech between us for granted. i wish i'd not taken you for granted. opportunities of such are once in a lifetime, and i screwed it up, threw it away, for sth that ended in an ugly way. if theres one word to sum up my feelings, it would be regret. sharp hurting pain. regret. i hate myself for not speaking up then. why dint i tell you i loved you when i was given a chance to? now i wish i could, but it's too late. you've moved on. gotten on with your life. maybe what you felt for me couldnt be compared to what you did her. it might've been pretty insignificant on your part but to me, those few days away from spore were the best, of my life. i'm at a loss of what to do.. i love you but i cant reach you.